10.30.2010

twenty-eight.

Today I'm another year older. And I do believe, you grow wiser with each year as well. [In fact, older women (and men) are so intriguing to me and the stories they have to share about their long-lived life.]

Twenty-eight is going to be good, I think. I don't wish to be younger and I don't want to wish away my days to be older. I want to live for now and be in the moment [at twenty-eight].


I'm incredibly blessed.

That's all.

10.27.2010

bow obsession.

My birthday is on Saturday, so naturally I have been spending my late evening hours exploring Etsy, when really I should be sleeping, but you know, sleep is overrated. [Actually, it's not and a miss it so much, but then I look at my newborn and think the lack of sleep is totally, totally worth it.] [Also, in case you are wondering, I will be 28. A very plain number. And yes, Audrey's, Naomi's, and my birthday are all in October.]

I like bows. I like their girly-ness and how they remind me of childhood and the age of innonence.

So, when my friend, Kylie, sent me this link to a super cute bow bag, I had to have it. I just ordered the diaper bag for my birthday. Diaper bags that don't look like diaper bags, rock. [Isn't it awesome when friends just know your taste?]

How cute is this? And it's all mine [insert evil laugh here].

Here are my other bow wants.



Source: Chou Chou Bijoux

Now you have a slight bow obsession, right? 

10.26.2010

proof is in the mess.

My patience was growing short yesterday morning. I was getting snappy with Audrey for reasons that I shouldn't have been, I mean, she's two, I can't expect her to be older. So I stopped myself and quickly thought of a place we could go to get out of the house.

The beach.

Yeah, it's cold. But the water and sand is such a refreshing place for me. And I knew Audrey would love it and Naomi would enjoy being right next to me in the sling. And bonus, hardly any one was there except for a sweet old couple taking a walk and a fisherman out in the water.

I grabbed my camera and put in the diaper bag. But when we got there, I didn't want to bother with trying to capture the moment, so the camera stayed nestled between the tiny diapers. We found shells, wet leaves, acorns, and hopped on the squishy sand. At first I told Audrey not to go near the water because her shoes would get dirty. Paaallleeeassse. That's silly. We were at the beach, touching the water was a must. So our dirty shoes went right up to the water and the water tickled our fingers.

On the way home Audrey fell asleep and as I picked her up out of the van I looked down at the mess. And almost began to get frusterated. How does our van get so messy so quickly? But it didn't matter. Because that mess, it was proof of our life well-lived. The popcorn kernals from the Farmer's Market all over the floor. The clean, empty dish that I need to return to a friend because she made us a lovely dinner. The empty juice container and raisins scattered, point to our abundance in food. The sandy shoes from our beach trip. The candy trash from a recent birthday party we attended. Now, I did end up cleaning up in the van. But, it was a happy clean up (if that makes sense).

I'm so thankful I have these girls to make messes and make my life so much more beautiful.





By the way, Naomi is already three weeks old today.

10.25.2010

meet jackie.

Yesterday, Audrey and Andrew carved a pumpkin together. Actually, Andrew did all the carving and scooping. Audrey assisted by well, watching. She wanted nothing to do with the goo inside that pumpkin. She did manage to pick what shape she wanted the nose.

Our pumpkin has a name and it's a girl. I was trying to explain to Audrey how the pumpkin is called a Jack-O-Lantern once it is carved. Andrew pipes in and says "It's not a Jack, we have to name her Jackie because all the girls in our house."


So may I introduce you to, Jackie.




10.23.2010

sleep. sisters. and the market.

Last night I had my best night sleep yet with a newborn. I only had to nurse her every three hours, as opposed to two, which is what she had been doing. Do you know how much better three hours at a time is instead of two? It's sort of amazing. Andrew took over for the night, you know, except for the whole, I have to nurse her every couple of hours, but he really helped. And it helped me. And it has totally made my day go a lot smoother. I am a lover of sleeper and one of those people who really needs eight hours, but, I will settle for three in a row for right now. Andrew even said he would take over nights on the weekends for me, which means tonight could be just as good.  [I know, I know, I married a stud.]

Have I mentioned how sweet Audrey is with Naomi? I was afraid she would be overbearing and never-stop-touching-her. But, she is a doll to her. She gives her kisses every now and then, wants to hold her just a couple of times a day. Makes sure to say good night to her and bye. And even calls her "honey-bunny."

I'm so glad they have each other.

This morning we made our weekly trip to the Farmer's Market. Naomi is only 2.5 weeks old and she has already been twice. We picked up a pumpkin and a CD by a local musician playing there called Hoosier Market. It made me feel old, but in a weird, good way. We bought the CD because Audrey loved dancing to it at the market. On the way home we played it and one of the songs compared Hoosiers to Bourbon. [True story.]

You can never have too many accessories to wear to the Farmer's Market.

10.20.2010

on having a newborn.

My babies are never to the books, if you know what I mean. The first time around I read a lot of books, books that were suppose to prepare me for having a newborn. How they ate, slept, played, even how to tell what type of personality they would have. I had this image in my head of how my newborn was suppose to be, I even had a whole routine planned out for my newborn.

Then my newborn came, my first-born, and all my baby prep was pretty much thrown out the window. I was flabbergasted when she didn't nurse every two-three hours. What? That is what the books told me. Then why is she nursing again after only an hour. She is only sleeping in increments of thirty minutes. What? The books told me she should be sleeping in long periods of time. She is suppose to sleep, eat, play. That is her routine, at least according to the books. Then why does she sleep after I nurse? I got so caught up on what the books told me to do, that often times I got frustrated with myself and thought I was failing, when in reality, I just needed to listen to myself and do what felt right.

Now I have another newborn. I didn't even bother to refresh on the baby prep books*. I'm so much more relaxed. I'm just listening to her cues and doing what I'm suppose to do as a mother. With that being said, I went to  Audrey Naomi's (I do this like five times a day, mix up their names)  two-week checkup yesterday and was drilled with questions from the doctor about her you know, routine. [Which by the way, she is doing fabulously. Already gained a pound since birth and I'm one proud mama that it all came from me.]

Doc: How often is she nursing? Me: Uh, uh, every two hours I suppose.
Doc: So when do you typically nurse her? Around noon? Me: I'm not sure, I nurse on demand.
Doc: How long is she sleeping for you at a time? Me: She wakes about every two hours. Doc: Okay, well, she should start to give you four hours at a time.
Doc: When is her best sleep time? Me: During the day. Doc: She should start to distinguish between night and day now. Me: (Trying to make up for the last answer) Well, she was up today from 9:30-12:30 this morning.

My point in all this? I'm okay with my babies not being to the books or having a routine (yet). Hello, they are newborns. And even though I am very much sleep-deprived right now, I'm not letting it get to me as much this time around because I know this newborn stage is short and I want to soak up all the squishy-ness and gassy smiles and quirky hand movements and grunting in her sleep noises. [But if I could sleep for a day straight, I totally would.]


Having a newborn rocks. It really does.



*By they way, I'm not saying reading baby books is a bad thing. Some books out there are very insightful and useful. But, I am just pointing out that not all newborns fit to the mold, you know.

10.18.2010

today {she is} two.

My sweet Audrey Rose is two. [I have a two year old. I have a two year old. I have a two year old. I have to keep telling myself this, because, seriously, I can't believe it.]


We celebrated over the weekend with a tea party in our backyard. The weather was gorgeous. The food was plenty (thanks to friends and family who helped so I didn't have to make hardly any of it, except for the 48 cupcakes). The company was the best. We tried to make the party small, but when you come from a large family and marry into a large family, parties don't come in small size. And with all of Audrey's little friends we had around 45 people there. But you know what? It didn't feel huge. It felt just right, because we were surrounded by so much love.


It was a good day, a very good day.

10.15.2010

yup, she fits.

Where ever I go, you will go to.

10.13.2010

me {right now}.

I read her books with enthusiam even though I am so very tired. Trying not to wish away this special time that I get with just her. I ask her what songs she would like me to sing tonight as I gently rub her back with my hands that have motherly wear to them. She request Itsy Bitsy Spider, Jesus Loves Me, and Jesus Loves the Little Children. My voice comforts her even though I would never dare to sing by myself in front of an audience. We say our prayers and goodnights.

The door shuts only for me to be able to go and comfort my other little one. I nurse her and think has it really already been a week since she was born? She is nourished with my very own body.

I kiss my husband goodbye as he leaves for work, at 9:30 at night. [He worked an extra full day, but sometimes he still has to catch up during the late hours. This is our norm.]

I lay her fragile body down to make a cup of hot tea for myself. I breathe a heavy sigh.

As my tea steeps I hear our first-born crying. I'm amazed at how I can calm her so quickly with an extra touch to the back and rock of the body. She's back asleep.

I sit and drink my not-so-hot tea now. And I am thankful. Not because my life is filled with glamourous moments or a lot of time for myself. [Because it definitely is not.] But I'm thankful for the ability to comfort and love.

10.11.2010

tea for two.

This little girl will be TWO, one week from today.

And I seriously cannot believe it. Having a newborn around makes her seem like is turning five or something. So would someone please tell the hands on the clock to stop tickin' so fast, I can't take her growin' up like this. She is our little narrator-talker-singer-independent-love. And because I'm a proud mama, I can brag on her a bit. She can sing her abc's all the way through, can count to 11, knows lots of shapes, and knows her colors. [By the way, I taught kindergarten, so I think about learning being apart of her every day experience.] She still loves, loves babies. Plays with my dollhouse when I was child every.single.day. Great at playing pretend. Loves for her daddy to "get her." And is a book-lover.

To celebrate her two years, we are having a really low-key (hello, I have a newborn) birthday party in our backyard this Saturday. I planned this about a month ago, knowing that we would have Naomi around too. Fortunately, I even got the invitations out last month.

 It's a Tea Party! Audrey painted each invitation and then I added the picture and stamped the words. [Isn't she a doll drinking out of her teacup?]



The weather is suppose to be beautiful (hopefully it will stay that way) and we will be surrounded by friends and family. I can't wait. I know Audrey can't wait either. She has been talking about how she wants a bicycle and helmet from Gramps for over a month now. I have no idea where this came from, but I'm sure her Gramps won't let her down.

One last thing. Both of my babies are asleep right now and I'm spending my time blogging. I'm crazy and very sleep deprived.  But so in love with my life right now, so it doesn't matter, right?

10.10.2010

babywearing times two.

One of my most favorite things about having a baby is being able to have them so close to me. And there isn't really a better way than by wearing them. And now that we have two little ones, that just means double babywearing.


The day before we became a family of four, we took a family date to a waterfall. The husband wore Audrey in the Ergo. It is one of my favorite views, my husband wearing our little one.

Four days after our little Naomi was born, we took a family date to the Farmer's Market. I wore Naomi in the Sleepy Wrap. She slept the entire time and was totally safe right next to me. It was good, very good.

Babywearing is a beautiful thing. Steph over at Adventures in Babywearing wants to acknowledge it's beauty and a call to action toward the CPSC (Consumer Product Safety Commission), which are going after all slings and carriers. I'm happy  to be apart of it, because I couldn't imagine not wearing my babies. A practice that has been around for centuries shouldn't just go away. But what we should do is educate ourselves and make sure we understand how to safely wear our babies, just like with any other baby practice (carseats, cribs, etc.).

10.09.2010

reflection.


  • It's been four days now since our family became four. And I can't believe how natural it feels.
  • I'm more confident this time around and much more relaxed. I'm so thankful we were able to come home early from the hospital and that Naomi didn't have spend any time hooked up to monitors or making a trip to Riley Hospital like we did with Audrey at this point.
  • We have already made it out of the house twice. Once to the park yesterday and once to the Farmer's Market today.
  • So thankful for the meals that have been made for us. I seriously think this is one of the best things a new mom can get.
  • I totally teared up when Audrey met Naomi for the first time. It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life.
  • Audrey is so gentle and sweet with her. Loves to hug, kiss, and hold her, but not overbearing (yet).
  • The hardest part of having a newborn right now hasn't been actually having a newborn, it's been Audrey acting out from all the change. Our little (almost) two-year-old has managed to learn to open all the doors in the house in the last two days and has decided to come out during naptime on her own with only an hour nap (she almost always takes a two hour one). She also has had a harder time going to sleep. Usually she is a great sleeper/napper.
  • And ohmygosh, have I mentioned how big Audrey is now? I swear, she grew overnight. I look at her and think where did my baby go? And also? My love for Audrey grew like crazy.
  • I'm bias, but I pretty much think I have the cutest newborn, eva.

10.06.2010

naomi's story.

Just two days ago I was saying It is going to happen. And soon. And probably really quick.

It did. Not even 24 hours later. I'm so glad I waited.

Naomi has entered the world on her exact due date and has a beautiful story to share.

It started at 7:45am Tuesday. I woke up, yawned, and had a sort of intense contraction. But I didn't think much of it, considering I have been contracting for over three weeks now. Then within 45 minutes I had about four more intense ones and then I proceeded to get sick and started to bleed some. [Which definitely concerned me, but when I arrived at the hospital the nurses said the bleeding was normal because I was actual in transition by that time already.] I knew I was in labor.

We arrived at the hospital at 9:15am. Holding tight to my husband because the contractions were fast and hard. I was checked in at about 8cm. That created some confidence in myself that I can do this. I am doing it. And instead of trying to think about the breathing techniques I learned in the birth class with Audrey two years ago, I let my body tell me what to do and how to breathe. And honestly, I handled transition so much better. I labored on my side, ate ice chips, and just breathed. Exactly how I wanted. I let my Type A personality come out (unlike the other day), and did it the way I wanted to.

Within 15 minutes of pushing, Naomi Fae entered the world at 10:07am. Just a mere 52 minutes after getting to the hospital, and only 2 hours and 22 minutes since my first contraction began. She came, not induced and without any medicine.

I feel so empowered. It was a beautiful experience. That's not to say, that is wasn't extremely difficult and painful. And while I was pushing I didn't think I could actually do it. But I did.

She weighed in at 7 lbs. 7 oz and a super long 22 inches. She is healthy and has a full set of dark hair. And has nursed so naturally. We are both doing well. After some slight hemorrhaging, I was put on some fluids, and I'm now doing fine. We opted to leave the hospital as soon as we could. And now we are home. As a family of four.

10.04.2010

type a, trying to be a little type b.

I almost didn't publish this post. Because I'm sort of thinking you guys are over hearing about my pregnancy that just keeps going. BUT, then I am reminded as much as I write for you, I really, really write for myself. And I want to remember this.

After a weekend that included e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. you can think of to help naturally induce labor (from a boat ride to walking a ton to running to spicy food to bouncing on an exercise ball, you get the idea), I went to my 40 week appointment this morning with hope.

I received an oh-my-gosh you are still here walking around at 5cm from the doctor, I didn't expect to see you. And then I was checked. No new progress, but it he was pretty confident that I am not going to progress anymore until labor actually begins. I have made it as far as I can without actually going into labor. [I think I should throw myself a party or something, that's a big accomplishment, right? Or treat myself to some thrift store therapy shopping.] Then he offered to let me have the option of inducing at anytime I would like. We didn't schedule another appointment, because he is sure I won't make it another week. Hmmm.

Option to induce? Like, let me take charge and sort of plan this? I called Andrew and told him the option. And my Type A personality came flying out. I'm a planner. An organizer. A worrier. This could work. I mean, I am so ready and so is my body. We could easily find someone to watch Audrey at a decent hour. Everyone can plan to be at the hospital at to the right time. No waking up in the middle of the night to get to the hospital. Oh, yes, inducing sounds so enticing. Let's do it.

Or not.

I sat back and prayed about it. And my Type A personality got thrown under the covers. I'm going to wait it out. I'm so close. It is going to happen. And soon. And probably really quick. And you know what? I'm really excited about the adrenaline part of not knowing and then it suddenly happening.

So, it may be today. Tonight. Tomorrow. Or in a couple days. Until then, we wait with more snuggles and cuddling and trust in His plan.

P.S. This is my decision. In no way, am I saying induction is a bad thing. I respect each mother's decision on what to do for labor. Also, I have a big belly picture to add, but blogger is being all difficult and not letting me upload any right now. But I'm sure you can imagine it.

10.01.2010

hi.

[Warning: this post contains things that you probably won't want to read. But I'm super pregnant and I feel like writing.]

I'm here. All of me and the extra 30 pounds I'm carrying right now. (Yes, I just revealed my awesome weight gain. And honestly, it doesn't bother me one bit.)

Yesterday I went to the doctor for my 39 week check up. And she greeted me with "Wow, I can't believe you are still here." Oh, yeah, thanks. Then she did the check. And I'm going to tell you. [Here is where you stop reading.] 5cm and 90% effaced. I'm already half way there. I then requested to have my membranes swept. [I told you to stop reading.] That's it, I have to be going into labor any second. After the encouraging words that labor is going to happen soon and probably quick, doc left the room. And before I even got dressed, I sent the husband a text to share the good news.

I went home and we waited.

And now, 24 hours later, we are still waiting. I can't sleep, because, surely it is going to happen at any second. I go to the bathroom 54 times a day. I have taken two walks today, one that ended with a nice run at the end. Folks, I ran today. I can't tell you the last time I went for a run. And then, we ate spicy food for lunch.

Taken two minutes ago with my regular, old camera, not my DSLR,
because that camera is packed away ready to go the hospital.

I'm 39 weeks and 3 days. And I'm so ready. I know, I know, I have heard it all. She will come when she is ready. Take in these last days of having just one. Cherish your pregnancy. Trust me, I have done all that. I feel so blessed to be this far. But I'm ready to hold my sweet newborn, mmmmkay.